Hetalia Chapter 1


Hiding explosives in churches because “God is supposed to protect it” and letting them explode.
Losing against bows and old-fashioned weapons despite having the newest equipment.
Getting tanks stolen during a break.
It’s the story of this gentle Italy.

“Refuses to work if there aren’t any women around,
but if they are, he refuses too.”
– or so it seems.

At that point, Italy undauntedly joined the Axis, but without thinking anything. It ended up wasting 10 more days to actually get ready.

While Germany subsisted on boiled potatoes,
Italy ate a full-course meal regardless of what mortar is in the air at the moment, or so the legend goes.

Italy’s invasion of Egypt ended up having a 1-in-4 casualty rate, and the very busy Germany ended up having to intervene. Oh, Italy.

You might say that the Italian ‘weakness’ is actually the national secret wisdom. After WWII ended, German troops captured by Yugoslavian partisans were too stubborn to yield even after prolonged torture, which made their Serbian captors even madder. Italian troops, on the other hand, wept and begged for mercy in a few minutes, which spared them the torture. Or so the story goes!

From: “Why is the Italian army so weak?”

■Another version■

An Italian soldier was captured, bound, and tortured.
But no matter what was done to him, he never said a word.
Exasperated, his captors finally unbounded him and the soldier, at once,
began gesturing wildly and speaking like a machine gun.
It was then that the captors realized:

“Wait, so this guy can’t speak unless he’s gesturing!”

I’ll be uploading them like this.

Translation: equivalent-t, lost-hitsu, spaghettifelice, y4nderenka, don_amoeba
Original Translated Version | Original