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Original | Translation: meh-konnyaku
LJ Post

■From Big Brother France■ Part 1

Bonjour! Old Man France here~.
 I normally get horrible treatment as an important character, how terrible~... Seriously, I get horrible treatment compared to England... Well, never mind that. If I were to compare myself with those insignificant people, it'll never end...

 So, I will be spending the whole day today dispelling my resentment. Mmm.

■From Big Brother France■ Part 2
I captured Italy!
I took a commemorative photo but is it not for the eyes of pure-hearted young ladies ?

Let's have French cuisine in the morning, in the afternoon and at night too!

Germany is noisy... Bonjour! Big Brother France here~.
I've just attacked Italy. Those brothers are always fun no matter what time or age is it. The problem is after I've attacked Italy, those two irritating countries will come after me... let's see if I can dye Hetalia in my colours by next morning.

■From Big Brother France France■ Part 3

Bonjour, Big Brother France here.

I was scolded. Don't be so angry, I was just doing a physical examination. Although I did cop a feel.

■From Big Brother France ■ Part 4

Bonjour, Big Brother France here. I just made a delicious meal of that troublesome Austria. I took a commemorative photo, but this is also not for the eyes of pure-hearted young ladies and young masters.

Well, Austria has not changed much since the time of Napoleon so it went well, but as for England and Germany... Ah, the invasion on the Hetalia page has advanced dangerously. From Big Brother France.

■From Big Brother France■ Part 5

It has been awhile but this song is still stuck in my head.
You can preview it at that site. Bonjour! This big brother here can't win against age so I went to sleep and when I woke up the amount of mail I have received exceeded 4 digits. Everyone, thank you for your love letters!

These two got mad after I played at Italy's and Austria's homes. Let me do as I wish just for today, okay. These two are so hard-headed (lol).

■From Big Brother France■ Part 6

It's nice to turn the tables for once.
Bonjour! It's Big Brother France! I had a tough time because England and Germany were lecturing me.
There is not much left so I gave my eyes a treat.
The three baltic nations are really good.
And so, if I can get England and Germany, the site-jacking will be complete!

■From Big Brother France■ Part 7

Damn, Germany's a tough one. Save me! Bonjour, it's Big Brother France! I couldn't make much progress, but I took some photos. Do you want to have a look at them?

Photo 1  Photo 2  Photo 3
I have something I want to tell you once I manage to molest England's and Germany's butts.

>> Name: Turkey
Don't you dare try anything on Japan. Or else I'll invade you.
However, you can do whatever you want with Greece.

Damn you, Turkey! I wanted to cover Greece with a certain liquid but he firmly rejected me.
I didn't force anything on him. I am quite a gentleman.

■From Big Brother France■ Part 8

Yes! I did it! Hetalia is my territory! Aah, it has been a long day... The England up there is from a previous joke. So, what should I do about Germany? It'll be boring if I just touch his butt.

[T/N: If you're curious about the news article, try googling 'Butlers in Buff' :D]

■From Big Brother France■ Part 9

To everyone who has kept me company today, merci beaucoup~! I had a lot of fun! I'll answer as much mail as I can in the time I have left. Thank you very much for today, everyone. It has been the best April Fools'. I really have to thank the people who first started this day.

■From Big Brother France■ Part 10

Alright! We will end the day with this!
Thank you, everyone! I love you!


Don't eat it!
The English call condoms "French letters".
The French call condoms "The English Cloak" (la capote anglaise)

What's with these low jibes at each other (lol).

T/N: English version of that news article. As for the second link... it's a site with a list of sexual euphemisms in Japanese. I, uh, did not go look for an English equivalent.

■Supplemental Part■

>>日本剥いちゃいましたね。
 トルコさんに気をつけてください。
 月が出てる夜ばかりとは限りませんよ
大丈夫!今日はなんか変な奴らに拘束されてるから
トルコの心配だけは無いんだよな。
それ以外は大ありだけどさ



>>ぎゃー、日本君がえらいことに!!
 あんな純粋そうな子になんてことしてくれたんですか!!
 フランスさんのえっち!!
 ごちそうさまでした。
剥いちゃった☆
日本人は何歳になっても若々しくていいね。



>>ひまさん&フランス兄ちゃん本トにおつかれ様でしたー
 脱いでないのに最強にエロい独(;´Д`)ハァハァ
 お陰でフランス兄ちゃん株急上昇ですよ、というか
 対ドイツ羞恥プレイ同盟組みませんか。
いやー今日は疲れたし最後に殴られるし大変だったな。
それとその同盟は遠慮しておくよ…。



>>ふ、フランス…!!今日サイトきてよかったー!!
 夜勤じゃなくて良かったー!!
 4月1日をこんなに感謝したのは初めてでありますよ!!
 (2日になっちゃたけど)
 この間は幽霊話でイギリス可愛いーvvとか思っていましたが
 今日はオーストリアさん萌えー!!マジ鼻血!!
 ありがとうフランス…!!と思っていたらうおお!?
 ギャーハンガリーさんになんということをしくさって…!!
 だめーつつ!!ハンガリーさんだけは
 オーストリアさんのものだよおぅ!!
 んで結局日本君には手を出していないんですね(笑)
 さんざん「漫画輸出禁止」の脅しメール来たからですか?(笑)

すいません思いっきり剥いた。
4月1日を楽しんで貰えて光栄だよマドモアゼル。
ハンガリーちゃんのパンツは最高だったさ…!
出来れば下のアングルから撮りたかったけど
撮ろうとしたら例の物が頭の上にどかんとな。
アレは効いた。



>>Thank you for your hard work, Lord Demon King lol
Ah, good job to you too, Big Brother France! Everything here is a treat for my eyes! I didn't think that Germany would dress up in a maid's outfit lol.
What gracious words, merci~. I've overexerted myself today with all the fooling around I did. My neck is creaking. This is somewhat bad. Well, my waist is always like this so it's okay I guess!
When I was thinking about Germany I thought that he is like Italy; he's goes around naked quite often so I chose to dress him in a maid's outfit.
Ah, I laughed so much. Cat ears are good!



>>Thank you for that Japan photo at the end~ (*´∀`)
I like Big Brother France, I love you!
But England's my number 1 (*´ω`)
When I was peeling off his kimono, I thought it was something I would have to unwrap and roll off him but unexpectedly, the cord around his waist came off easily. I was a little disappointed.
I was looking forward to getting a surprise at the end of the long unwrapping process.
As expected, I came in second...
Although I've got used to it after today...



>>To Big Brother France. I had a lot of fun today!
April Fools' with Big Brother France is the best! (*≧∪≦)ノ
Actually, I was all restless today because I'm starting work tomorrow and I feel anxious but I was cheered up by Big Brother France.
Seriously, thank you so much, Big Brother France!
I'll work hard from tomorrow! Also, thank you for your hard work today.
Please rest, holding with a bottle of wine in your hand while gazing at the Eiffel Tower or something like that lol.
Please send the person behind this my thanks for his hard work too o(_ _*)o
Anyway, April Fools' banzai!
There is no other person behind this! ...It's something I had always wanted to say*.
Work huh. Me too, every time I have a new boss they'll selfishly do what they want. There were so many times when I wanted to run away to Netherland's house and become a NEET.
Working is tough at any time and age.
I am happy too if you are cheered up by my invasion.
Shall I give you the bottle of wine I had in reserve?


[T/N: A reference to the manga Utsurun Desu by Yoshida Sensha.]


>>Thank you for your hard work!
I wanted you to strip the other Baltic nations and the Allies too.
I wanted to strip more people too but if I made a move near Russia or Switzerland, something scary will happen...
Safety first!



>>エイプリルフール最高でした!これせめてもの
 お礼です( ´∀`)つhttp://bakaneko.way-nifty.com/blog/
君の4月1日を最高の一日に出来たなら
昨日一日の俺の奮闘も無駄じゃなかったってことだよな
しかしまあ、この猫も愛されて幸せな野郎だなちくしょう。



>>日本キタッ!!!!!!!
 ありがとうございます仏蘭西ッ愛してますGJ★
おうよ!時間があればもうちょっと
イイコトしたかったんだけどな!



>>Thank you for your hard work, Big Brother France.
I am sending you my thanks via carrier pigeon.
By the way, what is covering Big Brother's vital regions? A rose...?
Germany's cosplay and that picture of Japan at the end had my heart throbbing!
They're so sexy!
Aah, it is a rose from my backyard.
I'll be arrested if I go out just as I am.
I have to cover my vital regions.
Thank you for your kind words.



>>フランス兄ちゃんありがとう。そしてお疲れさま!
 今日は目の保養がいっぱいだったよ。
 ドイツは猫耳メイドっすか!?やることが流石や。
 4月1日は良い日でした。
 来年のこの日は何が起こるか楽しみです。
 こんな他国の侵略の仕方なら
 あなたを好きになれないはずがない。
 アンタサイコーだよ。兄ちゃん、愛してる!!!
最高の誉め言葉を送ってくれた君に心から感謝するよ、
しかしドイツのネコミミメイド似合わねぇなぁ…。



>>...Big Brother France....
You even extended your reach to Japan?
I'm happy but... Turkey... Big Brother! Run!
Ah, won't you take me with you? I love Japan too. But I'll have him see us off in his kimono?
I-I will probably be alright...
When push comes to shove, I have no choice but to strip Turkey too...
Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll be fine since it's me, it'll be fine since it's me...



>>I want to be part of your territory too.
The moment you think that you're already mine.


>>おつかれさまでした!
 一日中、一つのサイトを見続けたのって今回がはじめてです。
 24時間、本当に楽しませてもらいました。
 けど、おかげさまで寝不足です(笑)
 フランスさん最高!
寝不足になるほど俺の活躍を見て貰えて嬉しいよ。
今日は俺の腕の中で眠るかい?



>>フランスのおじ様おつかれさま!
 そしてご馳走様でした!(ジュルリ
だっだからおじ様じゃないって!!
お兄様、いいね、お兄様!さ、言ってごらんハァハァ。


>>フランス兄さん、そして管理人さん
 本当にお疲れ様でした!
 一日中めっちゃ楽しませていただきました!ゴチです!!
 もし出来れば、アメリカやロシアやスイスや中国あたり
 今回剥かなかった人々も、今後ぼちぼちでいいので
 剥いでくれると嬉しいです(笑)
 これだけ閲覧者を楽しませてくれて、尊敬しちゃいます!
 今日はありがとうございましたっ!!
はははっ、楽しんでもらえたらそれが最高の勲章さ。
アメリカあたりは今度脱がす。



>>フランス兄さま、ひまさん、
 お疲れさまでした~vvvとっても楽しかったですvvv
 あと最後に日本ひん剥いてくれて嬉しかったです!!(笑)vvv
喜んでもらえてうれしいよ。
日本剥いたのは完全に俺の趣味だけど。



>>フランス兄さんあなた最高です!  いいもの見せていただきました!  ドイツのネコミミメイド…!ぐふっ…(吐血  来年…と言わず何かの機会にはぜひ!  また侵略しちゃってください!期待しております!  ではでは!
来年もまたあえたらいいな!


>>Hima-san~! Thanks for your hard work today~!
For the whole day today I was hooked on the internet, lured in my France oji... onii-san!
I had a lot of fun~!
This is probably the first time I had such a fun April Fools' Day. *^^*
Next year, please do visit Russia-sama...!
Well then, please try not to push your body too hard~!
I love you~! Kya~! (runs away)
I am the one who should be thanking you for cheering me on right to the end.
Must I really go to Russia's place next year?
Can I handle him...?



>>フランスおじさんはトルコ氏の素顔を見たことありますか?
 オリンピアの話のおじさんは好きですが、
 学ヘタのおじさんは嫌いです。
 エイプリルフールですが嘘じゃありません。
 これからも息子と共に頑張ってください。
 あ、これは嘘です。
だからおじさんって言わないでぇ!!
それと俺の扱い酷すぎだろ!!お兄さん拗ねるよ。
トルコの素顔は…うーん、トルコとギリシャが
ガチンコしてたときにチラッとは見たけど
「意外と普通」だったって言うのが感想かな。
もっとビックリするような顔してるのかと思ってたっつか。
覚えちゃいないけど。



>>こんなに楽しいエイプリルは初めてでした。
 兄ちゃんおつかれさまです!
俺もこんな楽しいエイプリルフールは始めただ。
付き合ってくれてありがとうな!



>>フランス兄さんお疲れ様でしたw
 エイプリルフールは終わってしまいましたが、
 どうかいつまでもそんな感じのテンションで居て下さい(笑)
 様々な愛をありがとう!!
ああ、愛のばら撒きすぎで腰がいてぇ。
多分これからも俺はこんな感じだろうけど
応援よろしくな。



>>I had the best April Fools' Day today thanks to you, France onii-sama!
I really enjoyed myself today.
France onii-sama, I love you from the bottom of my heart.
I also love the Lord Demon King more than France onii-sama.
But please don't harm your body. Please don't push yourself too far.
Eh~! So I am second after all! (laugh)
I'll pass the message on to him.
It's good to break out of the norm during April Fools'.



>>France-san~, I love you~~
After Japan, that is... (eheh)
I can do nothing but laugh now... hahaha...


>>France nii-chan I love you the most!
Yes! This is what I've been waiting for! I love you too.


>> England as a half-naked butler...
Germany as a maid with cat ears...
Huh~? (・△・?)
Could this be, they are a
P
A
I
R (☆△☆)sparkle~ ♪♪
Or not, right?!
...I just had that thought (*´∀`*)
Aah, they do match, don't they?
I would like to them both to come obediently to my home dressed that way but that's probably impossible.



>>Thank you for all these dreams and your love...
Thank you for your hard work in these 24 hours... Please take care of yourself...!
I was naked for 20 out of these 24 hours so I might have caught a cold. If I did I want you to nurse me back to health ☆


>>さっきのメール送った後もうフランス
 兄さんのお返事見たらドイツが!!
 有難うフランス兄さん!
 昨日はほんとうにお疲れ様でした!そして有難う!!
 昨日のおかげでフランス兄さん好きになりました。
ああ、あいつならイタリア人質にしたら
意外とあっさり言うこと聞いたぞ。
これからもどんどん俺を好きになってくれ。



>>着物で桜並木を歩いて文化財の家に行くと云う、
 懐かしき日本を満喫してましたが……
 フランス兄さんの所為で一気に現代に戻されました。
 フランス兄さん最高(笑)
 あ、四月馬鹿過ぎちゃいましたね…どうしよう。
四月馬鹿も終わりだな。2日からはもっと
上手に嘘をつく必要がるわけだな(笑)
やっぱ俺って最高だろ。




>> Hello. I had a shock when I saw the banner but I'm used to it now. I had a full course French meal yesterday in honour of this. P.S. Thank you for seriously making an effort for the environment by turning off the lights at the Eiffel Tower.
That's right! Be gentle to the ladies and be gentle to the earth- that is my motto! (Well, I do have some economic troubles too.)
Please savour the full course French meal.



>>拝啓仏蘭西殿
 貴殿のサービス精神にはまことに恐れ入る次第にて候。
 いや、本当にフランスにーちゃんやってくれましたね(笑)
 そうか、そんなにたまってたんですねにーちゃん
 (あ、「ストレス」がですよ?)
 でも、たまった鬱憤をこういうかたちで発散できるあたり
 すごいですよにーちゃん…。そのエネルギーを
 この年寄りにもわけてくだされ…。
今股間あたりにパワーがみなぎってるんだが。
これも今日中に発散したいとこだな。
やばいよ今日はすごい興奮しっぱなし。
今日の俺は最強かもしれん。



>>"As long as his face is at least as good as England's". That means England is included too, right?
Aah... no, no. His face is alright. I quite like his child-like face but on the inside, he is not good. Not good at all.


>>Name: Japan
My whole body (the servers) might be filled with sexual harassment but if you don't behave yourself I won't lend you any more manga or anime.
I will forbid cosplaying too.
I have my own private source if it comes to that!
But Japan's anime is good after all.
However, I won't stop my sexual harassment.



>>I'm sure you've watched it many times with your boss, Monsieur Chirac, but I wonder what you think of sumo wrestling, where adult men wearing nothing but a fundoshi slam into each other?
Is it within your scope of interest?
If it is, I would like to attend a match with you next time.
After that, I would like to treat you to a Japanese meal.
If they are macho men with beautiful bodies, I can watch for hours because they are a treat for my eyes.
To have naked men slamming into each other... Aah, Japan is wonderful.



>>フランス兄さん大好きです!愛してますv
 嘘じゃないですよ?兄さんはERO要員として
 無くてはならない存在だと思います!!
 ヘタリアにおけるスパイスのような存在?
 ところでエジプトも大好きなのですが、
 エジプトも剥いて下さったりしちゃいますか?
 今日は全員侵攻(剥く)予定とのことなので期待しております。
予定に無かったが急遽剥くことにしよう。
やっぱ俺ってお色気担当だよねー。



>>フランス兄ちゃんの日なんですね、今日ノ∀`*
 エイプリルフールが誕生日でよかったって
 生まれて初めて思いました 笑
うおっ!誕生日おめでとう!
君が今日この世に生を受けたおかげで
今の俺は幸せな気持ちでいっぱいさ。



>>私を兄ちゃん領にして下さいw
 というかもうすでに心はフランス領w
 フランス兄ちゃん大好きですw
 でも一番はドイツだけどね!
何なんだよ今日は皆してよってたかって…!
で、俺の領はドイツ領に比べてどれくらいなんだ?



>>フランスおじ……兄ちゃんの侵攻っぷりに
 胸のトキメキがとまりません!
 一体どうしてくれるんですか、
 フランスおじさ……兄ちゃん!!
 責任とって嫁にもらってください
今おじさんって言った…!今おじさんって言った!!
そのときめきは永遠の輝きになるんだよ。



>>Firstly, I love you France nii-chan!
But I like Italy more!
I love Italy!
So please sexually harass Italy more, nii-chan.
I want to see a cute Italy (*´ω`*)
(The usual Italy is already so cute!)
Alright. I'll do it!
Today is my day after all!
Even the time for me to deal the butt fondling of justice on the pissed-off England, Germany and Austria has come.



>> Name: Japan
To my beloved France-sama
...France-san... What are you doing...
Just now you were right before my eyes, in the nude, wearing that special item known as cat ears and racing around the place...
I earnestly hoped that it was just my imagination.
If not, I will have to stop all exports of manga to you and submit a request for cooperation to America-kun and England-san.
Stop! Or else I'll cover that naughty mouth of yours ☆
Furthermore, anyone will think that I look cute with cat ears me.



>>フランスおじちゃん!
 早くイギリスを攻略して……!!
おじちゃんいうな!!!


>>日丸屋さんのところのフランスさんへ
 あなたの親父臭さが好きです
 これからもセクハラ大魔王への道を突っ切ってください
 遠い空の下から、適度に応援しておきます

親父くさい!?親父くさいかなぁ…。
まあ、自分には正直にこれからも生きていくよ!



>>What are your hobbies, France nii-chan (*´∀`*)?
If possible, please tell me what they are other than manipulating information.
I like agriculture, fashion design, sketching and telephones.
Besides that, I like wondering around the art galleries or the boutiques in Paris on my days off and just relax there.
I like the places that are just a little odd or a little chic.



>>Hello, France-san.
Today is April Fools', so I can unreservedly say that I like you.
If you have time, please answer my question.
Is Turkey a guy or a girl?
Or are they a fairy?
Eh, so that means you're lying?! Is it a lie?!
Ah, Turkey... I don't like him because he's always after Europe. Hmm, I think he's probably a guy. I don't really remember.



>>ちょ…イギリスも飲み物!?何を飲むつもりで?
まあ、色々飲めそうなものを。


>>ジャンヌに殴られてください。
顔以外でお願いします。


>>イギリスが1位で次にスイスとか日本とか
 イタリアとかドイツとか好きです
 順位は低いけどフランスに兄ちゃんも(多分)好きだよー!
それもう好きのうちに入らないんじゃないか…?


>>Name: England
Thick eyebrows are a man's romance!
You should shave off your stubble, bastard!
Next time I'll be the one invading you!
Huh, is there romance in that?
No matter how you look at it, it only looks like an overgrowth.
Next time I'll be going to strip you so wait for me!



>>だ、大活躍ですね。過労死したり打ち止めに
 なったりしない程度に頑張って下さい…。
おうよ!兄さんは力の抜き加減知ってるからな!
抜きすぎてやられる時もあるけど。



>>「次はお前」って、ちょっとw
 フランス兄さん素敵すぎます
 オーストリアさん逃げてえええええええ!!
今攻め落とし中。どういうアングルで写真とって
やろうか今から楽しみなんだよな。



>>日○(←プライバシー保護)
 すごく…見苦しいです…そんな姿でうろうろしないで下さい
 (日本の漫画やアニメを気に入ってくれてるようでうれしいです)
こいつ~もうバレバレだぞ☆
今度秋葉原に遊びに行くのでその時は
色々案内して欲しいな。大事なところとかさ。



>>愛しのフランスへ
 何からナニまでフランスづくしの今日という日に乾杯。
 あなたのMarilynより
今日は俺の日だからラストまで突っ走るぞ!
ヘタリアページがドイツオーストリアのせいで
なかなか落とせず苦戦気味だ。



>>ネコは...うーんOKかなぁ。まあ俺より強くないと駄目だけど
  じゃぁスイス(ロシアやトルコも?)だったら
 受でもいいんですね?!(*゜∀゜)=3ハァハァ

いやいやいや、いやいやいやいや…。


>> Please go all out and invade just for today!
I love you, France nii-chan, but if you're with England, I love you a thousand times more!
Huh, so you're saying that it's me (1) x England (1000)?
I am one in a thousand. Hmm, it sounds like poetic, how cool.



>>Name: Russia
I'm going to your house now. Please be prepared.
I'm sorry for getting caught up in the heat of the moment...


>>By the way, what type of guys do you like, France-san?
Please tell me.
Let's see. Firstly, he must have an exquisite body and he must give me a pleasant impression. Personality-wise, it's all good as long as he is no worse than England.


>>Name: Prussia
More importantly, hand over Alsace-Lorraine.
You beast! This is why I hate Germans!


>>Name: Spain
Hey France, whatcha doin'?!
Ah, nothing... hahaha... Sometimes we need to take a break... right?


>>こんにちはフランス兄ちゃん。
 妹が大笑いしました。妹「キモイ!(笑)」
 私「なにをいっとんの!兄ちゃんかっこええが!(真顔)」
 妹が少し引いていましたが私はきにしません。
 兄ちゃん大好きですよ。(笑)
 こんな私でよければもらってください。
 おねがい(はあと)
もしかして新潟娘かい?ハァハァ
キモイは今日の俺にとって最高の誉め言葉さ!



>>P.S. What is 'tachi'? Is it a relative of yours?
This onii-san here loves pure and innocent children like you.

T/N: 'Tachi' and 'neko' are terms similar to 'seme' and 'uke'. ...That's all I have to say on this matter.


>>フランス兄ちゃんへ
 愛してますv日本やドイツ、イタリア、ギリシャ、
 トルコ、・・・の次くらいに!(2番ですらないけどねv)
 私も侵攻して欲しいけど、皆を征服するのもたのしみにしてますv
俺の扱いひどすぎだろ!!
まあ好いてもらえてるならそれでいいけどさ。



>>おはようございます!
 フランスさん、唐突ですがピエールをください!
 ピエール可愛いよピエール( *´∀`)
悪いが触らせることは出来てもやることは出来ないな。
なぜなら女の子くどく時につかるんだよなピエール。



>>フランス兄ちゃん!!?お兄ちゃん、大好きですw
 け、結婚して下さい!
一夫多妻制取り入れようかな…


>>Name: England
'sup, France.
You're as lovely as always, aren't you?
My delicate heart has always been troubled over a certain matter.
Even so, I held it back!
But I can't hold it in anymore. I won't go back tonight until I've said it.
I love you, France. That is all.
You're a fake, right?! Tell me you're a fake...!


>>ふ、フランスさんじゅてーむ・・・!(*´u`*)
 許容射程年齢は何歳から何歳までですか…っ!どきどき
綺麗でかわいいなら生後一ヶ月から94歳まではいける!!


>>俺はどっちかって言うとタチの方が好きかな!
 どっちかって言うと…ってことは、ネコもOKなんですか?
 教えてフランスおじさん!
 あと、大好きです!(ついでじゃないよ!)
明らかについでっぽい大好きだが素直に喜んでおくか。
ネコは…うーんOKかなぁ。まあ俺より強くないと駄目だけど。



>>ひそかにフランスさん大好きだったので
 今日が凄く嬉しいです。応援してますね!
 葡萄酒でも芸術でも戦でもドンと来てくださいませ~
つまり俺のファンだな!ひそかにじゃなくて
おおっぴらに大好きで大丈夫だからな!



>>Please allow me to ask you a question.
In the Dream United Kingdom strip, were you trying to write England's name under 'wife' or 'husband'?
About that... no comment...
I wrote his name under 'husband' by mistake...



>>フランス!あなたなんてことをwww腹筋イタイw
 でも確かに最近フランスの裸多い気がする。
 そろそろフランスの裸飽きたから誰か剥いて下さい。
 裸祭りやったってください。
今日は全員剥いて帰ろうかと思ってる。
ってか俺の裸飽きるほど見てるお前って一体!?



>>フランスさんは本当は超かっこE→!!!(古)んですよ!!!
 私はフランスさんが一番好きです!イギリスさんより好きです!!!
 大スキ―――!!!!!!まずは、交換日記からしてください。
 フランス語読めないけど・・・。
交換日記とは言わずお互いの情熱を交換したいんだが。
やっぱ俺ってイギリスよりかっこいいよな!



>>Bonjour, France! This may be sudden, but I love you!
Your classy dirty jokes...! No matter what you do, it's always about dirty jokes.
But that's what I like. Please continue to tease England. Please also have a pervert showdown with Korea (laugh).
"It's always about the dirty jokes"... that's mean (laugh).
Well, it is true that I often have have erotic events about developments of strange erotic implements.
But England's even worse!
He's even holds wank-a-thons.


T/N: Relevant news article in English.


>>フフフフッフランス兄ちゃん!超!愛してます!!
 以前からお慕いしておりましたが、「あなたはだれ」で
 フランス兄ちゃんへの愛がヒートアップしました!
 あんな風に街角で普通にフランス兄ちゃんにお会いできるなら
 私もパリジェンヌになりたかったです…!
今からでも遅くはないさ。君もパリに来ればいいじゃないか。
それと俺ってカッコイイだろ?



>>イギリスはキタユメを侵略してくれないんですか??
それがさっきからそれっぽいのが
きそうな予感なんだよな…。あーイギリスやだやだ。


私も仏兄に侵略されたい…!!
 そういえばポアソン・ダブリルは仏発祥ですね。
 つまり4月1日は仏兄の日なんだ!!!
 仏兄おめでとう!好き好き大好き超☆愛してる!!!
そうか!今日は正式に俺の日だったわけか!
素晴らしい素晴らしいよエイプリルフール…!



>>France nii-chaaaan! I love you!
Please invade to your heart's content! I totally want to be part of the French territory!
By the way, I read in a book that French people fall in love due to the other person's body odour, what do you think about that?!
What scent do you like? (*´д`*)

Let's see. I think a faint, flowery scent would have me curled up in pleasure. In the first place, the person has to look pretty to make a good impression. By the way, is your heart part of my territory?

>>I was laughing throughout your invasion and unthinkingly sent you some love via pigeon mail.
Honestly, I am sorry.
I love you quite a lot, France-sama, but I don't want to get near you because your scent of your perfume seems overbearing.
I will love you from afar.
Regarding the Hundred Years' War, I like Edward the Black Prince more than Jeanne d'Arc.
I love France so much that when I learnt about the Order of the Garter, I think "Why is this England's legend?"

No! I don't even want to think of that era's England...!
Why did he have to be so fiendish then?
I only use a little perfume so come closer and love me. It's really not smelly...


>> I always enjoy following your activities from the front of my computer screen, France.
You get along well with England, don't you?
When I see the two of you interacting, I can barely contain my laughter.
I think it's a tough job being responsible for the lives of so many citizens.
Please continue to work hard. I will cheer for you from this far-away island country.

Eh, no, no, I have a rotten bond with that England!
We're often together because our homes are close to each other's...
Yes, yes, it is quite tough being a nation. Our bosses are often bandy that catchphrase around.
We can't retire either... Your cheers are encouraging, merci!


>>To think that I would be able to send mail to France-san...!
Your personality is becoming more and more cracky since you first appeared (laugh) but somehow you have the spirit of an older brother so you look like someone I can feel safe with.
You pretend that you have a twisted heart but I think you're actually quite a decent person.
Ah, please teach England how to make friends.

I know right! I am totally like the whole world's older brother after all! You can rely on me for anything...
About England, he is the type that finds it hard to talk to people he's meeting for the first time so it's not easy for him to make friends. It's a miracle that he became friends with Japan.


>>Damn it! I was planning to never send you a mail my whole life but I've just overturned my policy because of you, France nii-san! Please bear the responsibility for this!

Alright, I'll bear the responsibility and marry my junior of to your home. He's a punk but please take care of him.

>>France-san! I love you!
I love you lots! But I like England too!
Please do your best today!
But don't beat up England, okay?! ^^

Am I a set with England...
Well, as long as you say you like me I'm happy.
Talking about that, the sound of the bagpipes are getting noisy.


>>Do your best, France~. All the fangirls are your allies.
By the way France, which country do you like?
Are they any countries which you are interested in?
I'll be happy if you quietly tell me everything.
With lots of love, from a certain mademoiselle.

The Italy brothers are cute. They look cute, but on the inside... It's just like with Austria.
Lately, I've been interested in Japan.


>>I choked when I saw the main page invaded by France.
I love you. I love you. If I write that repeatedly will it become a love letter?
But I don't think Hungary will stay quiet after you invaded Austria's vital regions, will she?
Even if it's you, will you be okay if she hits you with her frying pan?
No matter what, France banzai...!

Even I will be in trouble if she hits me with her frying pan.
Austria's really cute, both his looks and actions. But on the inside... it's no go there.
What a waste. God is so unfair.


>>Ah, ah, I like you.
Please remain as you are.
Even if you remain as you are, or if you change for the better, or even if you run out or money, I will still love you. It's true.

Well, even after a hundred years I am still me and I think I will be like this for a while.
Ah, but I think I'm more suited to agriculture then fighting now. Hmm, have I grown old?


>>France... I have a reservation for the top floor suite room at a hotel for tonight...

Let's make it a passionate night tonight.

>> Kyaaaaaaa! France! (laugh)
Erm, I love you! Please marry me!

I've always thought that if I were to have a wedding, I'll have a different one.
Something like skydiving in the Alps while wearing my wedding attire (laugh).
Aah, but I don't want to be like Russia nor do I want to land in Switzerland so let's just do it normally...


>> It's just like France nii-chan to poke fun at even the small details!
By the way, how powerful is your crotch beam?
Will you show us how Domremy was during Jeanne's time?
I wonder if I can buy France's nude photo book.

As long as there is love, there will be an one and only nude photo book of France engraved in your heart.
As for my crotch beam... it can reach the heavens ☆


>> Do your best with your invasion, France!
Remember Napoleon!

Napoleon did a lot of things but this...
Aah... Russia's scary Russia's Scary Russia's scary...
Russia's scary Russia's Scary Russia's scary... brrr...


>>France nii-chan, it's okay!
Even though you say that you get horrible treatment as an essential character, I think your presence is strong so you don't have to worry!
In fact, I think you're delicious! (This is actually a compliment! orz)
Your voice is also wonderful! It's okay! (This is also a compliment)

...That's right! I'm awesome!
Even if I flash my naked ass and cover my front with just a leaf, the fact that I'm awesome remains unchanged... Yeah, that's it, right...?


>>I would like to know your secret story with Jeanne d'Arc!

Once I start the story I'll need five days to finish it...

>>Hello and good evening!
I've always enjoyed visiting this site but when I saw that France ojisama had taken over this place, I sent a mail without thinking!
I love that dangerous atmosphere when you were with Austria-sama, France ojisama.
Could it be you are jealous because you like Hungary-san too?
I address Austria with a 'sama' but for some reason I call you ojisama, I'm sorry! But I love you!
I'll be cheering you on!

Hungary-chan is cute but she's also scary in a different way from Russia...
I'm still lively and energetic, okay (laugh)
Though calling me 'ojisama' is not too bad!


>> France-san, France-san.
I'm pregnant.
Without a doubt, the baby is yours.
Please acknowledge it.
This is definitely a product of France.
Please don't just put this aside like you do with your wine.

Wh-Who are you...?! Who?!
Are you Marianne?! Jennifer?!
I'm really sorry about that time...


>>I wonder which part is France-san's vital regions?!
I would love to invade it.

You will first need a massive firearm called love to do that.

>>Firstly, I want to say that I love you, France onii-sama!
Please invade all you want now!
By the way, since you said it's not sexual harassment but love, does it mean that what you did to England-san is love too?

Eh, no, that is...
Hmm... it's like saying 'Je t'aime' to him just to piss him off!
Or rather, I just want to piss him off!


>>Wow, France-chan is the best, haha.
Please quarrel with England-san lol.
Please always be strong and upbeat lol.

I'm always strong and upbeat so don't worry.
Or rather, I'm "up" at the moment! Someone save my junior me!
About England, I will bring him down one day.


>>Bonjour ? France-san.
I have a question. Is it good for your health to sleep naked?

That's right. I normally sleep in a ready-for-war way so I can be prepared for any beautiful men or ladies who may pounce on me.

>>F-F-France nii-san~!
I just got back and something this great has happened. I was surprised.
Please work hard on updating this page. I'll be cheering you on.
I'm looking forward to more ?. The Japan whom Greece likes is cute. (Greece is cute too)

Japan is cute.
I cannot resist his small size which I can carry like a child.
But recently I was selling the copies of the Japanese flag and had a lot of money with me but I was rejected completely. I can't win.


>> France-sama is too cute.
Please invade me too (・ω・´*)
I love you. I am cheering you on. I adore your stubble.
Please take care of the lower half of your body.

The lower half of my body is in tip-top condition!
So much so that I have been itching to do something these couple of days.
I got a little lost today so which road should I take to reach your bed?


>>Name: England
Wha-What the hell are you doing?!
Just stay quietly at home and do your farming, you bastard!

Hahaha! You should go trim your eyebrows too.
I won't let you be the only one looking cool here!


>> France nii-chan, I like you so much! I love you!
As a solo character, you won't lose to even Russia-sama. I love you!
Please continue to sexually harass other countries.

Hahaha, that's not sexual harassment.
It's love, love. It's something like telephatic love born from skin-to-skin contact.
Love is wonderful, isn't it?


>> I just realised that you're unexpectedly quite a dandy.

It's not unexpected. I am the dandy amongst the dandies.

>>I just realised that France is an ojichan.
I had always thought that you were an oniisan orz.

No, no! It's onii-san! Onii-san!
Onii-san! Okay?! It's onii-san!
That 'ojisan' thing was just an April's Fools joke.
Mmm, yes! It's an April's Fools joke!
Haha... yes, that's right, it's an April's Fools joke...
I am still young. Argh... my back is killing me...


>>France nii-chan, I love you!
Um, why don't you try being the neko sometimes?
I'm always ready for you, haha!

Meow~. There is no one more manly than I am...
Well, I'm the manliest one in the world so it's impossible in the first place.


>>In the War of the Austrian Succession, England... really didn't do anything, did he?
Hungary-san seems very strong-willed but she seems ready to die in that 'Let me kill him' panel (laugh).

Aah! England is somehow extremely useless when it comes to matter not pertaining to himself or America.
Hungary-chan's strength when she's angry has no match.


>>A few years ago, I was a wind instrument player in an orchestra and we performed the song "Under the Double Eagle".
It's their song, isn't it...
If I may be so forward, I would like to dedicate this song, from the me in the past, to the two of them!

You should play "La Marseillaise"! La Marseillaise!
This song was composed in a day by an engineer who became a captain.
Thanks to this song, a lot of volunteer soldiers were gathered.


>> Are you good friends with Greece-san?
Who are your friends?

If you're talking about friends, I don't have many...
Times like this, that person's name will crop up, won't it?
It's a rotten bond. Greece is like my senior when it comes to culture.
I'm also turned on by his swarthy skin and muscled body.



I'm sorry...


>>Hello, France nii-san!
You're more shiny than usual today (laugh). It's great!
I have a question. What do you think of Switzerland?

He's scary. I don't even want to go near the Maginot Line.

>>Name: Greece
Anyway, go put on your clothes first.

But you like my body too~

>>I love you, honey~!
You're not my number two, you're my number one!
But England's the one I love second best.
I love people from these two countries.
France, so you like Italy the best after all?
Why don't you try giving me half of that love?

Let's not talk about halves, I can give you all my love and more.
So, why is England the one after me...
I guess I am somehow connected to him after all.


>>Hello, France nii-san.
A few days ago, I received some French chocolates from my teacher who went there for her honeymoon. They were delicious.

I know right! I don't stint on love even in making chocolates. That's my way of doing things. So of course it's delicious!
Compared to me, America and Australia think that all they have to do is heap sugar into the chocolate...


>>This may be sudden, but I love you.
I always want to be nearer to you but I don't like airplanes.
Won't you move to a place near enough that I can reach you by train from Japan?

That's a good idea. If I'm near Japan, I can go to Akihabara as much as I want. However, I like my current place so that request is an impossible one.

>>I totally choked and sprayed lemonade all over my PC (laugh).
Mucus was leaking from my nose, tears from my eyes, I couldn't stop coughing or act normally...
I wonder what this feeling is... Could this be love...
Please try your best so you won't lose to England!
I like England, but I'm cheering for you today, nii-chan!

Are you okay after choking on your lemonade?!
Or rather, it must be painful since it's lemonade...
Still, if that is what ties you to your love, all your joys and sorrows will be a good experience for you.
It's my day today, so be sure to follow me, everyone!


>>France nii-chan! I love you!
By the way, right now the situation with Japan is
Greece → Japan ← Turkey
It's a tough situation so won't you do something with your power of love? (laugh)
For example,
Greece → Japan ← Turkey
            ↑
          France

Hey, hey, Japan's in a even tougher spot now (laugh).
Turkey's there so I'll hold myself back...


>>When I woke up, I saw that France nii-chan was doing something amazing so I sent a love letter without holding anything back.
I believe that France nii-chan's heart is closely covered by your stubble and your body hair, and if I push them apart I will see the word 'gentleman' written there. With lots of love.

Hey, that's quite a disturbing mental image of my heart (laugh).
Well, that 'gentleman' bit is true though.


>> Hello, France-san.
Actually, I don't think nudity is very sexy, so I hope you will reach for the pinnacle of eroticism while fully-clothed next time.

I also like the kind of eroticism where the person is clothed with just their important bits visible.

>> France-san, is there anything that you're scared of?

Germany, Russia and an angry England. And computers.
Just typing out all this mail is bad enough.
Aah, after this is over I'm definitely going to do some gardening.
I'll also have wine early in the morning and take it easy.


>> Teacher! There's a bump on my brother's head. I thought violence wasn't allowed!
I didn't expect to be seriously invaded so I got a shock.
When you said you were going to attack Hetalia...
does that mean that you will be attacking the other Allies too?
France oji-san is a gentle person so this is just a lie, right?

The bump was because Romano suddenly got violent.
Romano was pretty good at first but because of his personality, even the tourists ran away.
By the way, I only touched his butt. Thanks for the meal.
Right now, I'm playing Bokosuka with with Germany and England. What should I do with them if I win?



■ I've finished replying ☆ ■



Bonjour! It's France onii-san.
I'm really exhausted after running amok for the whole day...
Damn, I must be getting old. No, I'm still young! Yeah!

Thank you for all the pigeon mail
Right now, my room is amazingly full of carrier pigeons.
What should I do now? Eat them? Should I eat them?!

It's been awhile since I had such a long 24 hours. I want to throw a kiss to everyone who has been following me for these silly 24 hours but this oji-san here is at his limits already...

I'm going to drink the rest of the night away.
I had fun today with everyone following me!
Please send me more pigeon mail the next time we get together like this.
Je suis amoureux de toi!

With lots of love from France.

PS: Who should I strip next?



T/N: And this is why France was so cruelly punished afterwards :D.

This thing is so long ;A; and full of France-innuendo.
I didn't finish translating all the messages and replies. I skipped those that were repetitive, ie those that went Kyaaa France nii-chan I love you please marry me!!!, sorry.
Hope you guys enjoy reading this~

Axis Powers Hetalia and its characters belong to Himaruya Hidekaz and Gentosha comics.